


Age is just a number on the wall

by Shinigamibutter



Series: Tattooed Souls [10]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A love Story, Aged Down Characters, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bartenders, Junk, M/M, Power dynamics don't really matter though, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tattoos, power bottom changkyun, submissive shownu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-23 22:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21089078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamibutter/pseuds/Shinigamibutter
Summary: Changkyun is in love with Shownu, has been for ages. But he believes Shownu sees him as a younger brother. But the truth might be far from his expectations.





	Age is just a number on the wall

**Author's Note:**

> Bleh. I said I'd do ShowKyun justice. This probably isn't it... but.... whatever.

Changkyun pouted at his reflection in the mirror fixing his hair and trying not to think about the action that had messed it up. It wasn't easy. But nothing with Shownu was proving easy. They were awkward, just as they always had been. Unable to keep a conversation going without trailing off into stilted giggling and painful smiles. And while Changkyun would love to claim it as awkward sexual tension, he couldn't. Because Shownu didn't look at him like that. But god did he wish that weren't the case. 

Had been wishing ever since he'd first met Shownu at seventeen. Though their meeting then had been a brief acquaintanceship facilitated through a gym membership that Changkyun hadn't kept up. Not from lack of desire but an inability to continue and still try to pass his classes. Now at twenty two they'd chanced to meet again as coworkers at a late night bar. The very one Changkyun found himself pouting in. His break long over but his heart still in disarray. 

Still, he had to get back out there. His shift wasn't over and even if Shownu would never call him out on taking too long he'd feel guilty. And the fact Shownu wouldn't call him out would only make his heart hurt more. Because it wouldn't be for the reasons he wished. It would be because he viewed Changkyun like a kid brother and that hurt. Hurt more than he let himself feel as he gathered up his pouty lips and furrowed brows. Working them back into a normal sour expression, the one that kept most of the drunks from hitting on him.

"If you're done with your break I could use a drink." Changkyun smiled, internally, at the familiar voice of his best friend when he reappeared behind the bar. Jooheon was situated in the only quiet corner of the bar, the one dubbed the ghost seat. As it usually hid the customer there from view from most of the bar because of an interesting bar design. It was originally where the owner would sit and watch the on goings of his establishment before he passed away and his daughter took over. 

"Anything for you." Changkyun winked without bothering to ask the order, he knew what Jooheon liked anyway. "So how's Minhyuk if you're here?" He raised an eyebrow watching the way Jooheon's ring glittered against his glass as he picked it up. It was rare to see Jooheon alone, but his friend only pointed in the direction of Shownu. "Ah." He tried not to think about what the two could be discussing as Shownu laughed loudly, his eyes turning into crescents. Softer and more open than Changkyun found him usually.

"I do believe he's trying to put in a good word for you." Jooheon's voice was low, intimate in the setting but Changkyun only snorted in response. "Ok so maybe he's here because I drug him here to make him unwind. If he mentions his art project one more time I might go insane." Changkyun giggled at the soft pout that overtook his best friend's face when talking about his husband's current obsession. 

"You knew he was like that when you married him." Changkyun stated, before sliding away to get a beer for another customer. His fingers brushing against Shownu's as his coworker snagged one for another customer. He felt his heart skip a beat when Shownu smiled at him before turning away again. The same as always he did, like it meant nothing. Changkyun sighed as he slumped against the bar in the quiet corner watching Jooheon smirk. "Don't."

"Don't what? You're the one pinning here." Changkyun sighed because it was true. He'd been pining so long he wasn't sure he'd ever lived without pining. "You should just tell him." Jooheon snorted into his drink and Changkyun scowled. Because of course Jooheon would suggest the action of his downfall. "You can't be sure how he feels without asking. He's never said you're a brother to him you know." Changkyun opened his mouth to argue but before he could counter that another customer called him over. 

It wasn't as if he actually had a counter though he reminded himself. After all that was the small glimmer of hope he'd been holding onto so long. The thought that gave him comfort. Because technically Jooheon was right, as he usually was. Shownu had never said that's how he saw him. Though Changkyun couldn't help feeling that's how he treated him. What with patting his head, begging for aegyo, and delegating easy jobs to him. As if he couldn't handle harder ones. Not to mention acting like he had to protect him from the customers. 

"I can't tell him Jooheon." Changkyun finally said as he made his way back to his best friend thirty minutes later with another drink. "Even if he's never said it.. actions speak louder." He finished with a sigh, collecting the empty glass from the drink before. "I don't want to risk it." Jooheon was nodding and Changkyun wondered if it was in agreement, as his eyes were slightly glazed from the drink, but he was far from drunk. 

"If no one risks no one gains." Jooheon shook his head and Changkyun once more found himself with no answer to his words. But thankfully they switched topics as Minhyuk joined them, taking a seat in Jooheon's lap. Smiling large and friendly. Talk about his project started and Changkyun found himself smirking this time. Watching Jooheon force a smile and support his husband fully despite his previous complainants. It was cute. And inside Changkyun admitted he wanted that too with Shownu. 

●○•°°•○●●○•°°•○●

Shownu frowned as he threw his shirt into the bathroom hamper, his back reflecting at him from over his shoulder. Not that he didn't know what was there, what had been there for awhile. But something settled in his heart when he looked at it. An anxiety he often liked to ignore even as it nagged him. Still, the proof was there that his anxiety was as pointless as it always had been. Because on his shoulder was the soul mark that came from Changkyun's first tattoo. Which told him his attraction wasn't wrong. 

Still, it being there didn't make him feel less guilty about his feelings. About his desires towards the younger male. Because he was just that and had been when they met. Young. Too young. And even though they'd barely known one another, spotting for each other with more than slightly minimal chit chat, Shownu had known then what they were. He'd felt it. And he'd tried not to. Because back then it was wrong. And it still felt wrong now. Except when he looked at the tattoo. 

Changkyun had told him he was going to get it, during one of the many chats they'd had at the gym. Cooling down between reps. And even then Shownu knew that because they were soulmates he'd have it too, just like all soulmates when they got their first tattoos. It was why he'd put off getting one after meeting Changkyun. Why he was still putting it off. Even though Minhyuk, their mutual friend kept telling him he was crazy. Four years was just four years. To Shownu four years was a lot. 

Sighing he stepped into the shower letting the hot water wash his thoughts away. Well, most of them. The ones that lingered were of Changkyun's pout, poorly concealed and adorable. A bubble butt that bobbed around the bar, and a smile that broke him. It was as if Changkyun didn't know how unfair he was being. Though Shownu knew he probably didn't, didn't want him to know how whipped he was. Enough so to never report his over long breaks, to take on the hard work, or to stop the friendly if a bit annoying head pats.

Vaguely be wondered if he should just give in and get a tattoo. To make things easier, so he didn't have to say a thing. But he knew that was a cop out and wouldn't do any good. He already carried Changkyun's mark and had since he'd gotten it at eighteen. Had known before it appeared. And marking his soulmate back certainly wouldn't solve his hang up on age. Still, it was tempting he thought as he looked back at the last three months they'd worked together. It had been something like torture, something like rapture. Or maybe something in between. And he still wanted more. 

●○•°°•○●●○•°°•○●

Changkyun sighed. Jooheon had just left his place with Minhyuk. They'd been there to show off the project Minhyuk had finally completed and while he was happy about it he was also a little bit upset. Shownu was supposed to come as well, however he'd been running so late that Changkyun doubted he was going to show. So late that Minhyuk and Jooheon had given up. Though be wasn't too worried as Minhyuk had told him Shownu had said he'd be late, maybe even too late. 

Still, Changkyun had held out hope. It wasn't that often he saw Shownu outside of work after all, though it had increased a little lately. Because Minhyuk had drug him out with them a few times. And it seemed like things had changed just a little because of it. Not much, but enough to spark more hope than he'd had. A lot more hope than he wanted to allow himself with how Shownu still treated him like a kid. Even if it was slightly, just slightly, less after he stood up for himself against a drunk bigger than them both. 

A knock broke him from the thought though, and he shook away the memory. He figured it was Minhyuk who was constantly leaving things behind. Such as the two full bottles of wine that Changkyun had shoved onto his wine rack a few days ago. They weren't a gift though and he knew the moment he opened one without his friend present he'd be in trouble. So he'd left them alone as he did with many of Minhyuk's 'forgotten' items until they were mentioned again. This time he was certain it was an accident not just purposeful forgetting. 

He regretted not checking the peephole when he opened the door to Shownu, slightly out of breath and dressed as if he'd been on a date. A silk button up, that didn't do any hiding of his figure paired with jeans that hugged his thighs entirely too well. And Changkyun could only think how he looked in his sleep pants, faded black hoodie, with his tousled hair and sleep ready face. After all he'd stopped expecting Shownu when Minhyuk left. As he'd been told that their mutual friend had informed him the party was over. 

"Shownu…" Changkyun did his best to keep his voice from cracking from the surprise but he only felt mildly successful as he opened the door. He was grateful he'd at least cleaned up the crumbs and dishes as he ushered his coworker, friend, in. "I wasn't expecting you this late." He confessed watching Shownu step into his apartment and look around, slyly. It was expected though as he'd never invited him over, never felt like it was a line he could cross without crossing all the others. 

Shownu frowned when he didn't see Minhyuk, actually from the look of Changkyun, adorably ready for bed, he'd already missed him. "Minhyuk told me to come at this time? Said we were going bar hopping after we finished up here." Mentally he berated himself for believing him. After all, Minhyuk had only talked about him confessing about his soul mark for the last month. Ever since he'd caught a glimpse of it at the bar. "I guess he told us different things." He chuckled softly, derisively as he looked back at Changkyun who was backed into the door he'd closed behind himself. 

"I guess so." Changkyun's answer was followed by an audible swallow and an eye scan that Shownu wouldn't have missed across a bar. It made his cheeks flush, though it wasn't as obvious as the way Changkyun's did. Of course he understood as the uniforms they wore were attractive, but not casually so. "Since you're here…" Changkyun was hesitating, hand still on the door knob and Shownu wondered what he was thinking, if it was anything in line of what he was thinking. The air thick between them with awkwardness, with a tension that gave away what they were. 

"Since I'm here," Shownu picked up the thought with a heavy sigh, Minhyuk's intentions weighing on him. Four years isn't a lot he reminded himself looking into deep eyes that were begging him to stay. And he wanted to. Really, really wanted to. "I think I should confess. I don't think of you like a little brother. Minhyuk told me." He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck watching Changkyun shift in front of the door. Going from relieved and confused to terrified and hopeful. It was cute, it was too much. "I…" He paused. He knew what Changkyun felt, knew before Minhyuk told him, he just wasn't sure how to get over how he felt.

"I'll go now." Shownu sighed again stepping towards the door, where Changkyun seemed frozen in processing what he'd said. Conflicted feelings written on his face that only made him look young, younger than his years. And had the guilt gnawing in Shownu's stomach for wanting to hold him, to pin him to the door, and have his way with him. The guilt that always came with his attraction, even though he knew it wasn't wrong. That four years at seventeen wasn't a world away. At twenty two and twenty six it felt less so. But still a gap uncrossable.

Changkyun found himself snapping back from wondering what else Minhyuk had told him. His thoughts circling around the revelation, and the look on Shownu's face. A want, a want he wouldn't follow through. And more than anything Changkyun wanted to know why. Why the man he loved was looking at him like he loved him, but he couldn't love him. "No. Stay." He found his voice the moment Shownu moved, his own feet stepping forward. He felt his heart race watching Shownu step back every time his own steps progressed until he'd walked him into a chair.

"You don't see me like a brother?" Changkyun's voice was lower and more feral than Shownu had ever heard before as his knees collided with a chair. A single shove from a tiny, well placed hand sent him sprawling into it, his breath catching on the way Changkyun stood above him. Looking at him like he'd been a naughty boy. The look sent a shiver down his spine, directly to his cock. But he couldn't look away from the dark eyes staring into his own. "Then how do you see me? Do you think I'm just some kid? Is that why you treat me like I'm too young to work at a bar?"

Swallowing hard Shownu thought about how he'd been treating Changkyun and found himself feeling guilty. Guiltier than their age difference ever had made him feel. "No. You're not a kid to me Changkyun, never a kid." He watched dark eyes fold at that information, a vulnerability open. One he'd unintentionally created with his own hang ups. And it was this moment he realized he couldn't keep going like this. He couldn't keep doing this to his soulmate. "I was…" Shownu swallowed again preparing to be honest. "I was scared that because you're younger, because we met when we did that my attraction to you was, is wrong."

Changkyun froze again, he hadn't expected that. Hadn't expected Shownu to admit being attracted to him, even though this close, this caged in it was hard to miss. From the way he'd seen a twitch between powerful thighs to the way Shownu kept staring at his lips. "We're only four years apart." He felt the words tumble out the moment he sat on Shownu's lap, his thoughts still struggling to connect in why their age mattered that much. As it had certainly never mattered to him. 

"Four years can feel like a long time." Shownu conceded, holding back a groan as Changkyun moved up his thighs. Sleep pants tightening around the smaller thighs against his showing them off. "I felt guilty." He added his fingers digging into the arms of the chair to stop them from digging into the exposed thighs. He wanted nothing more than to pull Changkyun against him, to confess, to take him like he'd always wanted to. But he couldn't find the will to move against the dark eyes staring at his face reading him. 

Changkyun moved further up Shownu's thighs, his cock twitching against the tightening material of his sleep pants that were caught under his knees. Around him he could feel the tension that was always there between them. But now, like he'd always wanted it to be, but it was more. It was sexual, honest, and a long time coming in his opinion as he stopped his crotch pressed against Shownu's. Their cocks nearly brushing between them. "Do you still feel guilty?" He asked, his breath more laborious than it should be as he leaned forward their lips inches apart. 

"Yes." Shownu breathed the words across Changkyun's lips even as he leaned forward capturing them. It was everything he'd ever thought it would be, chapped lips pressing against his own unsure and steady. Hands coming up to hold his face, pushing their necks this way and that until their bodies fit perfectly together. His own hands he still didn't dare to move, still guilty, still hung up. It was hard, with the way Changkyun kissed him like he was dying. Prying his lips apart to taste him with his tongue, hips rocking forward providing sweet pressure and friction as he rocked. 

"Stop, stop thinking about it." Changkyun said as he pulled back, hands still splayed on Shownu's cheeks. His hips rocking forward into a hard cock trapped between them, his own brushing against it. "I'm old enough now, so touch me. I know you want to. I can feel it." And as if his words broke a dam he felt rough fingers on his ass, pulling him forward. Lips connecting with his own and a release that could be felt in the tension around them. "Just like that." He whispered into an open mouth, hips still rocking forward as he began undoing buttons. Exploring warm skin underneath.

Changkyun's hoodie was the first piece of clothing Shownu was able to remove, hands wandering under before pulling up revealing soft skin and wild eyes. Revealing how Changkyun was lost in the feeling, a feeling Shownu felt taking him away as he shed his own shirt, followed by sleep pants and dripping boxers. No words were spoken though as Shownu worked his fingers over and into a bare ass. The one he'd been dreaming of for far too long. Instead the air was filled with moans, wet kisses, panting breath, and the squelch of lubed fingers. 

"There." Changkyun shifted with a mewl, white overtaking his vision as he felt a bundle of nerves being pressed against. Bucking his hips into the feeling he felt himself losing his mind, fingers clawing at the broad shoulders he found purchase of. Then he stopped, Shownu's fingers stopping with him. The world narrowing down to the sensation of being full as he worked Shownu's cock free. Lining it up with his ass, a smile on his face as Shownu silently removed his fingers. 

"Shownu," Changkyun moaned as he lowered himself, filling himself with Shownu's cock as the other sat still. Eyes squeezed shut to stop himself from moving. "Fuck me like you've always wanted to." The words were whispered into a tan ear that he immediately nibbled, wiggling his hips. Feeling Shownu's large cock throb inside his ass. Feeling as powerful thighs were put to work, the hard cock inside him sliding in and out. Fingers taking purchase of his ass, pulling it apart to help the transition in their position, while kiss swollen lips captured his own. 

For awhile Changkyun lost track of time, of where he started and Shownu began. His needs falling from his lips into Shownu's, only to be carried out by their bodies. "There, fuck right there." He whined as Shownu shifted him, pounding in from a different angle that made him want to scream. Or directing large hands to his thighs, and his cock. Dripping and hurting with how much he wanted to cum. Only for the angle to change and the pace to slow down, teetering them on the edge. Until finally they fell, a release and panting breaths bringing them back to reality. 

It was minutes before he could move again, but Changkyun wasn't sure he wanted to. His body still flush against Shownu's and nothing any more resolved than it had been. "That was," He started his voice deep and a bit croaky from moaning. "Fuck that was everything I've wanted." It wasn't the whole truth but it was too close to it to argue over as he moved his head from Shownu's shoulder to nuzzle his neck. That's when he saw it. A black line of text that made his heart drop, understanding dawning on him quickly of what it was. Of what it meant. Of why Shownu thought four years was so long. 

Shownu felt a shift in the air as Changkyun's arms wrapped around his neck. His face hidden in it, but his words clear. "You knew for five years. Five years Shownu." There were tears in his voice that made him feel guilty, so much guiltier than his age, than giving in, than anything. The words were full of heartbreak as they continued. "You didn't want me did you? You gave in because you knew." Shownu could feel tears on his neck now that made his heart ache. 

"No, that's not it Changkyun." Shownu pulled him back to look at him, with effort. But when their eyes met he regretted not acting sooner, feeling guilty over his soulmate. Over the person who he belonged with. "I knew, I knew back then that we were soulmates. I could feel it. But you were seventeen and I was twenty one. And I couldn't," He took a deep breath feeling the guilt from before pile back up on his conscience. "We couldn't. You were too young. And when we met again, I was so happy, but it was hard to not see you as seventeen. As too young. To not feel guilty for wanting you." 

Shownu swallowed and looked away from the pain he knew he'd caused. "I didn't want to hurt you. But I…" He was cut off by a kiss, shy smile, and forgiveness he felt he wasn't sure he deserved. "I'm sorry. I should have told you, I should have opened up to you months ago. I love you Changkyun, I've been in love with you a long time now." Shownu sighed running his thumb along a tear track, kissing it softly before looking into dark eyes again. "I don't think I can hold back anymore."

Changkyun nodded, fresh tears falling as he thought about the months he'd spent pining. Realizing that the little ways Shownu treated him like a kid, weren't really like a kid at all. The same thought that had clicked when he'd confessed to not seeing him as a little brother. That those same behaviors were one in the same with how some guys treat their lovers. Though he'd have to change that, he understood. Especially now. He'd been a minor when they met, even if just barely and that made things complicated. "I don't want you to hold back anymore. Shownu I love you, I've loved you since then." 

Changkyun could feel Shownu relaxing as he kissed him. As they came to see each other honestly through their bodies, adult and marked for life. For every life Changkyun thought bursting out into the same awkward giggles that followed all of their conversations. And he realized that even if they were awkward, a bit lopsided and silly he didn't want it any other way. A thought he could feel echoed in the soft giggles against his neck, strong arms pulling him close. They were just as they were always meant to be, age was just a number after twenty after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Well that happened..


End file.
